Back to the Grind

Here it is, the eve of my return to work. People keep asking me how I feel about going back to work, but to be honest, I feel a lot of different ways.

I am blessed to work for a company that offers amazing maternity benefits. For those of you who are keeping track, E is going to be four and a half months old tomorrow. She was born the first day of my maternity leave, exactly two weeks before her due date. But I would love it even more if the company offered flexible return to work options. I would love to work part-time for my company, but I don't think that idea would be well-received at this point in time. Maybe someday.

It has been amazing being home with her for all this time. I know there are plenty of moms out there that have to go back to work after a month or two, and I don't know how they do it. When E was that old, we were just figuring out our routine, explaining it to a caretaker would have been nearly impossible. But she is at such a fun stage in her life. She is developing so many new skills and rounding out her personality in a new way each day. I hate to think that something monumental will happen with someone besides me.

J and I are blessed to have found an amazing in-home daycare for her. I am completely comfortable leaving E there; she actually started going last Wednesday so we could all get into the routine. This was J's idea, and it worked out perfectly. We were able to drop her off without feeling rushed to get to the next stop and we got to spend some time alone before this transition begins. I know that the daycare provider will 'raise' E just the way we are, and that she will get wonderful care and attention there. It is still hard to think that she will be looking in someone else's eyes as she falls asleep during the day.  I still want her to think that her Daddy and I are the most fun people she knows.

But heading back to work means that I get to refine the skills that I haven't used in so many months. I want to make E proud that her Mama can do all this; be a successful professional woman, a supportive wife and a great Mama. I know that there will be some bumps as we go through this transition, but I think we have a pretty good game plan. J and I are also committing to fill one of the weekend days with a fun activity; going to the beach, zoo, hiking, or going to the park. E deserves our undivided attention, and I never want her to feel like she is getting anything less.